Coach Jim Bob Sez…
Winners and Losers in
Week 3 of the CFB season….
1.
Callin’
Baton Rouge. They play this Garth
Brooks song on the PA system in Tiger Stadium for LSU home games. The crowd loves it. The lyrics to the second verse begin with, “A replay of
last night's events roll through my mind.”
When they replay the highlights of Saturday afternoon’s LSU-Auburn game on
TV Saturday night and Sunday morning---guess who’ll have won??? The Tigers.
The ones in purple and gold.
Why??? Because zen master Les
will make sure running back Leonard Fournette gets the balls about 32 times. Winner: LSU.
2.
Give
Ireland back to the Irish. It’s a
McCartney song. In South Bend on
Saturday, the “Sherman, set the Way-Back Machine for 1971” Ga Tech Yellerjackets
bring their 20th Century Wishbone-esque offense to town. They’ll try to disrupt the luck of the Irish who
are now sans QB Malik Zaire and running back Tarean Foster. As the Coach would say, not so fast. The Irish defense prevails. Winner: Notre Dame.
3.
Do you
want fries with that Big Mac? The
Holy S#@! wins by MAC teams of the last two weeks will end Saturday in Columbus
when the Buckeyes relegate N. Ill. and MAC fans from the McD’s dining room to
the drive-thru. After the shock-and-awe
that Cardale and Zeke hand out, the Huskies will choose to settle for post-game
items off the “dollar menu,” not the much higher priced big board. ‘Cause they ain’t gonna have much of an appetite
after the beatdown. Winner: OSU.
4. I’m down with my….. The Ole Miss traveling Grove-on-the-road
party brings its Hoddy-Toddiness to T-Town Satiddy night. The Rebel fans should
bring along lots of Mint Juleps, ‘cause they’re likely to need them. Especially about late 3rd quarter
when the Sabes smells blood in the Bryant-Denny crimson water and becomes even
more intent on revenge after last year’s loss in Oxford. Since ’07, The Sabes is 9-1 against teams he
lost to the year before. And, Sir
Lane-a-lot will unleash Derrick Henry and Kenyan Drake in the same backfield
(YouTube last week’s Bama game) as he continues to rejoice in his latest
Reggie-Lindell duo. The Tide D has this
song they like to have played on the PA before they take the field. It’s a C
Murder tune, “Down with My N……” Oh, they
don’t play the lyrics, just the melody.
That oughta be enough. Winner: Bama.
5.
Keep
Austin Weird. That’s the city slogan. Seriously. How fitting for the clash
of the karmas in Austin as Cal-Berkley comes to San Francisco’s branch office
in the Southwest (I have that copyrighted, so use it at your own peril.). The 2-0 Bears will quickly ascertain that
fall has not arrived in the ATX. Under
a blazing mid-September sun, the Horns will attempt to erase some doubts after
the loss to ND and the win against Rice in which they were out-offensed
442-277. The Owls also had the ball
44:02. But, after a late-night arrival
at SFO, the Bears will likely be remembering the immortal words of The Dead, “What
a long, strange trip it’s been.” Winner:
Texas
And, now, some quick
headlines…
The Ghost of Lewis
Grizzard. South Carolina @ GA. The late, great Southern
journalist/humorist’s ashes are scattered beneath the Sanford stadium
grass. Lewis loved the Dawgs. And watching his beloved Dawgs between the
hedges. Steve and the ‘Cocks won’t. Winner: Gawjuh.
I love L.A. Stanford @ USC. Sing along with me, now….Century
Boulevard (We love it) Victory Boulevard (We love it) Santa Monica Boulevard (We love it) Sixth
Street (We love it, we love it) We love L.A.
…Eh, not so fast Cardinal fans.
Winner: USC.
Babes
in Lotusland. BYU
@ UCLA. The Cougars’ QB, 22-year old
freshman (mission trips will age you) Tanner Mangum, is the off-the-bench
player of the year. The Bruins’ freshman, so-far, sensation Josh Rosen is
lighting up the Rose Bowl. UCLA is #10;
BNYU is #19. Nine place differential. Hmmmm.
Bruins by 9. Winner UCLA.
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